Knitted Bacon BLT (with Cabling!)
Last week, for my birthday, my friend John (who first posed to me the question of whether bacon could be used as yarn) and I decided to make a knitted bacon BLT. Or would that be a knitted BLT? Knitted bacon LT? KBLT? (KB)LT? Oh whatever. Let’s not argue syntax and move on to the taxing sin of, once again, knitting bacon.
The toothpicks are holding the bacon together.
Now, John’s a much better knitter than I am, so this time the knitted bacon is much improved. Also, since I can take pictures and drink beer while he knits, this entire process is much more streamlined and joyous than the last time around… The first improvement is easy to see: he used toothpicks to join the bacon together so he did not have the problems I got with tucking bacon into other bacon. The bacon consistency this time around is much better.
Notice the cabling that's going on here.
The second thing is that it now has cabling. I am not sure whether that makes it tastier, but I am sure that it multiplies the awesomeness by a rather large positive factor—I feared that the universe would end due to sheer awesomeness if he cabled bacon, and just because he knows I fear it, John had to cable the goddamn bacon.
This is after an hour in the oven.
Because there is now 3/4 lbs. of bacon in this patch, it took forever to cook. According to the timestamps on the photos, it took about 70 minutes in the oven for the bacon to look like the picture above. And the sad thing is that it wasn’t done yet. In fact, it was so raw in the middle that our friend Matt—who usually goes oh ho ho I lived in France for years and ate raw meat as part of my fancy French cuisine—considered it not done. It took a total of over 90 minutes at 400 degrees for the bacon to fully cook to not-hospitalizing-us standards.
The veggies make the bacon better! Truth!
Combined with delicious organic mayo, delicious strong mustard, delicious fancy sliced bread, delicious tomato and delicious lettuce, the knitted bacon BLT was born.
Knitted bacon is knitted.
You can see from the picture that there is a lot of bacon in this thing. A normal BLT at a diner contains maybe two strips of bacon. This baconlicious monster contains 3/4 pounds of bacon. According to the sample of bacon I have in my fridge that is about 11 slices of bacon. And since the knitting, as I scientifically discovered last time around, seals the fat in this is 11 slices of extra-greasy bacon. Let me try this again, spelling out the number and using the magic of HTML for emphasis: this is a BLT with eleven frackin’ strips of extra-fat bacon.
Sure, you can pile 11 strips of bacon on a BLT normally, like a normal person would, perhaps. But they will fall off. This is one specifically crafted BLT-sized patch of dense baconknit. It stays on the bread and it provides a consistent, even distribution of bacon. I dare say that this was the best BLT we’ve ever had. It may have taken exactly 118 minutes to make but it was worth every single minute; especially since, you know, 90 of those minutes consisted of drinking beer and hanging out while the bacon cooks.
You are my hero. Seriously.
Have you submitted this to This Is Why You’re Fat yet?
[...] Update: The bacon knit patch has been improved (with cabling) and applied to the most delicious BLT ever made! Check it out! [...]
This is outrageously funny! I never dreamed it was possible.
That is awesome in never before dreamed of ways.
OK, so I always told folks that knitting was good for your heart and health…I’ll now have to change that….
Love the direction this went. First, I thought alright knitted bacon - nice. But then once it became a sammich - OMFG YES!!!!
I tried knitting Pull-N-Peel once and it was an interesting endeavor.
So uh, you planning on using those sticks again?
I found this linked on The Anticraft’s Facebook page. I think I love you.
@Pro-Portional Designs: Those chopsticks were indeed reused. It’s not hard to get bacon grease off utensils with soap and warm water. =)
@Sami: Awesome! That’s why I’ve been getting a surge of traffic!